Financially, I could for sure pay more attention to the amount of money that comes out each month for bills. There have been far too many times in which I am scrambling to put money on my card right before a subscription is due. It would just alleviate so much stress lol
My spiritual health is the biggest area that effects not only my mental, and emotional state, but physical as well. I have gone through some tough times in my life that I swore I had dealt with the emotions that were left behind, only to have a random emotional breakdown that felt like it came from left field. It took me questioning myself like a psychologist to figure out the hole it came out of from the recesses of my mind and spirit. I truly need to handle up on those highly emotional moments sooner rather than later, as well as uncovering trauma that I have consciously and unconsciously carried around like baggage this whole time.
Patience is that one little virtue that takes so much energy and focus that feels impossible at times. People always tell me how patient I am, particularly around children. I cannot help but laugh and scoff since in my mind, I am losing it. Masking has become second nature to me, so I do not blame people for assuming but I would want them to take my blood pressure sometime and see how patient I really am lol I can physically feel myself getting irritated at the smallest distractions and inconveniences at times. It makes me disgusted with myself since anger to me feels like being in a vice grip but also not having complete control over my actions.
My hope is to become strong enough to be able to withstand any event like a wave breaker during high tide. Being able to take the ebbs and flows of life while remaining upright and positive. That would be the pinnacle of my earthly existence.
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