A difficult lesson I was forced to learn: Not every relationship is beneficial to you, but it is okay to walk away.
To preface, I grew up in a very traditional family that had a very strong sense of loyalty. While that loyalty could be positive in many circumstances, I witnessed countless negative examples of the word being used as manipulation. Certain negative and toxic people would expect us to turn a blind eye to obviously terrible behavior, with the excuse of being family. As if being related to them, dissolved them of any accountability. On the flip side, the ‘peacekeepers’ of the family would have the mindset of “I made my bed, now I have to lay in it.” They pretended to be the bastions of hope; in reality they were some of the biggest enablers of all.
While I do not want to go into too much detail, I have been the brunt of some negative opinions within my family, because I started putting my foot down with whom I allow to actively engage in my life. I had to put up with quite a bit of rude glances, gossip, and passive aggressive remarks due to making some person upset. I realized that I would be faced with these toxic behaviors, regardless if I blindly fell in line or walked away. That realization ultimately gave me the peace to finally make the decisions that were right for my own health and wellbeing.
While I still have moments of regret when it comes to how things turned out, I have grown past the obsession of overly caring about the opinions of others, especially when they have issues with me having control over my own life.
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