Hands down, the hardest to let go of was my childhood.
Back when the worst drama came from my dolls, and I could run around and play with the dogs that turned white and silver as I grew feet and inches. Back when holidays were magical and fun plans for tomorrow meant the excitement would steal my sleep. It was a time in which I felt invincible with the world at my feet and limitless routes made life feel exhilarating.

If my childhood was a time of happiness and self-discovery, my teen years were a time of fear and building up walls. I was terrified of angering people unknowingly, so I kept my mouth shut and head down. I was terrified of being judged so I put on a mask. I got so caught up in fitting in that I forgot who I was myself. My faith was weak so I did not feel as though I could seek out help from God, nor did I think I deserved it. Truly, one of the worst periods for me.

In my early 20’s, I was starting to get out of the whole people pleaser phase which pulled me out from under the comparing I was doing to myself. This was a busy and stressful time for me, but we were on the up. I was getting closer with my boyfriend, I was getting through college and work and coming back to God which was the most important thing as it allowed me to shake some of the scales from my eyes and see the goodness that does exist still. Putting that armor back on, assisted greatly when I was about to endure great loss back-to-back with the deaths of three family members and several pets at this period. This was a hard chapter in my life, but I felt rejuvenated in a way that helped push me forward to today.

Here I am at almost the big 29. I look back at how my life ended up at this juncture and I do have a lot of regrets, but I am glad at all that I experienced every day since childhood. Even the bad stuff since those moments are what typically molded me the most into who I was meant to be.