Banned Word (DP#173)

While I am not an advocate for censorship just for the principal, certain curse words remain at the top of my “I Could Do Without This” list.

Growing up, I was pretty much constantly surrounded by grown men whose vocabulary seemingly consisted of mainly curse words. It was “F-that, F-this, F-that B-” etc. etc. Once you have these words literally ingrained into your mind and soul, it makes it rough hearing them pop off so haphazardly if that makes sense.

That being said, the B-word and the F-word are some of my least favorite. I have been through countless high stress, high anger situations in which these words were screamed and spit out. Particularly the B-word and the more misogynistic connotation of the word. When I hear women calling other woman that for example, it gets me so heated cause it instantly takes me back to the anger and the sexism, and it makes me wonder why people choose to use such hideous language for? laughs? as a term of endearment? What is endearing about being called an actual dog? Is my question.

You may think I am putting too much emphasis on this language but once you have made that association, it’s hard to undo it. After all, my closest friends and family never called me that, and that speaks volumes to me.

2 responses to “Banned Word (DP#173)”

  1. Cymoril Binder Avatar
    Cymoril Binder

    I totally get where you’re coming from, but that is WHY it is a term of endearment (linguist here)
    Many times, when a word is used to abuse people, that group takes power back by turning the meaning of the word. Instead of letting people silence them, they take the power from the word itself.

    You see this with the B word, the N word, the word queer, geek, weird, nerd etc etc

    Over time, there are a couple choices… Let the word have power over you, let only the ones who use it as a weapon have ‘access’ to it – OR make it yours. Take the power away!

    For Harry Potter fans – it is like how everyone said ‘he who must not be named’ but Harry took the power back by finally saying Volemort 🙂

    Same logic as laughing about something scary… It changes the dynamic

    So, people are not doing this despite the history, they do it BECAUSE the history. Basically a ‘you have no power here. That word doesn’t hurt me anymore’ approach

    This is also why you see the meaning change depending on WHO uses it!

    Of course there are subtleties. Not everyone is comfortable with the words given their history – but interesting to know WHY this happens imo

    1. I completely understand the reasoning and the taking control over the narrative argument for sure and I am glad people can find healing and growth through that. I am just not one of those people personally.

      My main point of annoyance comes from people’s assumptions that I consider that a term of endearment. Even when I make it clear that I do not and give my reasons and they want to catch an attitude with me anyway. It’s like, we claim to be supporters of people’s traumas but as soon as you start putting up boundaries that other people do not have a problem with, they question and judge you for it. That is the mentality I dislike.

      It’s just crazy how much not only the actual language has changed, but the emotional waves it causes us.

      I can imagine being a linguist is hecka interesting for you!

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Hello! I am Ashley and I simply love to read, and hope you do to!
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