The Gentle Chapter

Finding Our Home: Part One

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So, this past week has been one for the books lol

This past Monday, all the closing paperwork was signed and done for the house we were living in. The payment went through much faster than I expected so we have gotten our portion which is a blessing. That officially began our hunt for an RV for us. The original van we had our eyes on; the guy was giving sketchy vibes and was not letting Kolton ask any sort of questions. He seemed like the type of person who believes that just because he happens to be a preacher, that he is trustworthy. Not to mention, the van is from California, and apparently getting registrations from there switched over is a bit of a pain in the butt which would explain why he was in such a hurry to get rid of it at such a low price. So that one was a no-go.

We messaged two other people who were already charging too much for their RVs. One of them is a four-hour drive from us and the lady who was attached to the listing is not even the owner of the RV. She gave me a number for some guy, so I texted him and I have heard nothing from him. Since she was not the owner, she could not answer any of my questions about the RV so that one was a no-go. The second person I messaged was only a 30-minute drive for us however, the RV had less than 30K original miles since 2001….They were playing it up as though that was a good thing and worth the 20K price tag. Umm no. You never want a vehicle, let alone a heavy rig like an RV, just sitting there the majority of its life. You are asking for all sorts of warping and mechanical issues with that. That was a no-go.

During this whole week, we have been hotel hopping and praying for quick responses from people but unfortunately, nothing was coming to fruition.

My husband and I made the decision to just buy an older work van and convert it ourselves. That way, we know for a fact that all the electrical is done correctly and efficiently and is set up to how we want it. It is much less on the pocketbook as well which is a plus. It will just be a longer and more arduous process particularly with me since I have no experience with building anything, let alone a whole van conversion. However, we do know some people who are willing to lend some mechanical help, as well as access to a garage to help upgrade the drivetrain, suspension, etc. so that is yet another blessing.

Today, I have already messaged three potential people who are selling said vans. The first person just did not bother updating the listing, so it was already sold. The second guy, messaged back with “Ok” when I asked if he was available for us to come check it out and has yet to message back. The third person has yet to reply back at all. It is frustrating to say the least. We have sold things and vehicles over the internet ourselves, and I thought that was the most frustrating part but no lol When you are borderline desperate for something and the buyer is not getting back in a reasonable amount of time or seems as though they have absolutely no business selling what they are selling…my goodness gracious! Lord, give me all the strength and patience!

I am trying to stay optimistic though since we do have a place to stay while we build it out so that is a blessing. We were just hoping this would be a quicker process, but it is what it is. We both feel as though God is trying to force us to slow down and trust His process but man, is it difficult!

I plan on keeping everyone updated with this new chapter in our journey so hopefully it is at least entertaining to some people lol

73 responses to “Finding Our Home: Part One”

  1. RJ Robinson Avatar
    RJ Robinson

    GOD has a way of sending us messages during new events! You’re on the right path, just be patient and enjoy the process! I promise you will love the end result!

    Reply
    1. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
      Ashley Kittrell

      Patience is so hard lol I just keep telling myself that closed doors are also answers to prayers. It is literally just a matter of time and hoping people can be honest and forthcoming. Thank you for the encouragement!

      Reply
      1. RJ Robinson Avatar
        RJ Robinson

        I agree! It’s one of the hardest obstacles to overcome but it’s worth it when we finally receive our reward!

      2. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Amen! Thanks!

  2. observationblogger Avatar
    observationblogger

    Good on you, Ashley, for keeping us posted with your updates. Dang, that all sounds like a right-royal run-around for you fine folk. (You see how I’m trying to speak your lingo? How am I doin’, gal? Haha.)

    I can see how frustrating it must be when you’re just expecting basic courtesy in response to your enquiries. The older I get, the more baffling it is that simple good manners seem to be slipping into the past. I’m reading ‘Little Women’ at the moment (as you know), which makes it even more obvious how far modern society has drifted from those small human courtesies.

    I assume you have (or will have) a place to stay that isn’t a hotel while you sort out transport options for your next venture?

    Reply
    1. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
      Ashley Kittrell

      Lol you are doing good with the lingo!

      It is just insane. Clearly you are trying to sell the dang thing so why not be on top of the questions? Bah! Lol yeah when I read older period books, it makes me miss a timeline I have never lived.

      Yes! We have three houses we can stay at until it is finished so we are good with that! I am done staying at hotels for a while man lol

      Reply
      1. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Thanks on the lingo part. I know you’re just being kind haha
        Regarding the selling dilema, it’s also what gets me here. But I mean in general, whether it be a bank or buying products. It’s almost too hard to buy something – such is the dismal customer service. Don’t you want money? I hear myself ask.
        That’s amazing you have three houses to stay out during this little quagmire. You’re all good and I’m glad as heck to read that. I hear you with hotels..that has got to be a drag.

      2. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Lol nah! Do you still have a heavy Australian accent? I dont know how much it would have changed being in Columbia but I can hear the accent when I read your stuff lol
        Right? I am like I have your dadgum money, gimme the stuff lol Absolutely ridiculous. I am trying to do you a favor, quit giving me the run around.
        Yeah we are solid until we get it built which is for sure a blessing. Its the constant moving everything around. I hate packing and unpacking lol

      3. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I think my accent has changed a lot since moving to Colombia and speaking so much Spanish. My accent was never the heavy Australian one you hear in rural Aussie films — it leans more toward a kind of British-English sound. But my “R”s have definitely shifted and become more Americanised since living on this side of the world.

        Sometimes when I watch American country films set in Texas, I catch myself thinking, “Oh, that must be how Ashley sounds. How strange — but cool!” lol.

        And yes, all that packing and unpacking must be a pain in the rump, but at least it forces you to be less hoardy and a bit more frugal. Super.

      4. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Oh wow. I have always been interested in linguistics and how your accents and mannerisms begin and how it evolves with your surroundings and cultures. Your changing accent is understandable. There is this van lifer that we have been watching. He is originally from Australia but moved to the US. His ‘R’s are sounding more American the longer we watch him. It is super interesting.

        I will say, I do not have a thick southern drawl like my family and husband. They have the harder ‘r’s and lack of annunciations like in oil and boil. I do not know what happened to me lol I can easily force a heavy one though when I want to and yeah, some of those shows are pretty accurate lol I would say, I sound more northern-south than deep south if that makes sense lol

        Oh yeah lol. We were able to consolidate a whole lot and know where everything is in the duffel bag and backpack. It makes moving around a heck of a lot easier, that is for sure.

      5. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        When I was a young tacker in Grade 5 learning German, I couldn’t have been less inspired. Fast-forward four decades and “linguistics” is now one of the most curious subjects I find myself engrossed in. That’s obviously because I had to learn Spanish for sheer survival. Linguistic adaptation is, in its own way, a form of intelligence—and I’m low on that bar, so I had to study extra hard just to get by.

        I think it’s great that you’re intrigued by it too, and your breakdown of your own accent and its geographic quirks was fascinating. How you sit more toward a northern-South sound rather than a classic Southern drawl was interesting. Why do you think that is?

        I pronounce my R’s more heavily now because Spanish speakers roll theirs so beautifully. I suppose that’s part of why it’s considered a “romance language.” In Australia, the R is pronounced very compactly—almost like it isn’t there—whereas you folks in Texas give it full weight, like a road train barrelling through. Haha – but not you perhaps as you were kinda getting at.

        So you can imagine the adjustment when the R here—and in your country—carries such emphasis. It literally took me years to learn to roll the R properly. In English, our tongues stay firm and mostly locked in; in Latin America, their tongues move loose and undulating, like a choppy sea. lol

        And I’m glad to hear you and your husband are more than adept at living out of a duffel bag. Considering everything you’re doing and the adventure you’re setting out on—you’re my new heroes of the modern era.

      6. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Whoa German is hardcore lol I get what you mean when you say that you used to not be so interested in the study of languages. Back in school, it wasa requirement to take two years of a foreign language. Obviously being in Texas, Spanish was the best choice since it is basically an official language here. I hated it lol I feel like if it was not a requirement and I could take my time and enjoy the process; I would have appreciated it more and stuck with it.

        With me personally, I think that I have more of a different mix of blood lol I probably take after the Yankee and Norwegian side so it sounds a little bit different than my mom’s side who are more closely from Louisiana. Plus, where I grew up, you had more people with the “city talk” and less southern drawl. It is definitely a mixture of nature and nurture for sure.

        I love how Spanish speakers roll their “R’s”. It is a struggle for me but my deep south sounding husband has no problem with it lol Mainly because he grew up around Mexicans, so he learned from the source lol It is frustrating. I just end up spitting everywhere like some sort of jacked up lisp lol Haha people do love the harsh consonants and vowels up here. I try to be as ‘sophisticated’ sounding as possible, so I tend to be soft yet clear with the annunciations.

        I appreciate it! Yeah, we have one duffle for clothing, a backpack for electronics and a backpack for toiletries. Plus, a couple pillows and blankets. That is pretty much it. I thought I would struggle mentally with having so little, but it truly is peaceful. The less you have, the less you miss, is the mindset you have to have.

      7. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I think your having to take Spanish—and your gripe with it—is pretty much commensurate with how people here feel about being forced to learn English. Unless there’s a bigger motivational pull (usually relational), it’s almost impossible for most people to find it genuinely worth pursuing. At least you now have one, should you ever find yourself down here—however unlikely that may seem. And if everything—and I mean everything—goes pear-shaped, you could always come here and teach English. The demand is constant.

        I still can’t properly roll my Spanish r’s after all these years. People constantly mishear my cuatros (4) as ochos (8), and it drives me mad because my terrible r in cuatro just doesn’t register. I try letting my tongue go loose, but it never quite sounds how Latinos do it. To truly inculcate yourself into another language, you have to shed parts of your former cultural self—and that’s where I’ve always come unstuck: letting go of one identity to form a new, more Latino one.

        It’s genuinely great to hear how well you’re doing—living comfortably with such frugal means. I keep returning to Jesus’ mandate to his disciples: take nothing with you. It took me fifty years to grasp the premise, and I suspect it will take the rest of my life to actually live it.

      8. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        That would definitely be wild to go teach English in a completely different country for sure. I do not know how well they pay teachers down there but up here, that salary sucks lol
        I love the shedding of some of your own cultural self to make space for some of a new culture. That is a beautiful premise, but it also suggests we have a finite amount of space inside ourselves but tis to be human lol

        I greatly appreciate that. It is crazy to think about since as Christians, we are supposed to be here to tell people about Jesus but also to lead our lives as closely to Him as possible. It is much easier to complete the first step, but it can be difficult for people to practice what they preach or rather what Jesus preached. It is a struggle even still, but the progress is what matters in the long run since we cannot get to that level anyways.

      9. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        It’s awful how poorly teachers and carers are paid. I taught for a while at a college here, but because I had to declare the income in Australia, around 60% was taken due to my pension. In the end, it just wasn’t worth it.

        That said, many expats with a genuine passion for teaching do manage to live and work well here teaching English. Some are paid decent money. You’d have free accommodation and food here – so there’s that ;.P

        I really admire your faith, especially because, as you say, it’s far harder to live the Word than to talk about it. The Logos—the Word made flesh—isn’t something you explain; it’s something you enact. Christians do tend to talk far too much. Didn’t they learn anything from Jesus?

        When questioned—by Pilate or others—Jesus rarely argued or explained himself. Words, are just noise.

      10. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        That is absolutely ridiculous! Heck no, teaching with only 40 percent of your income is no bueno!
        The thing is that I am not sure I want to teach lol Plus would I not need to know Spanish in order to teach Spanish speaking people? I guess I could use a translator, but I feel like it would make the process so much more convenient.

        I appreciate that! My faith has been extremely rocky at times, and I am no saint, but it just takes one step to start yourself on the right path. I will agree to Christians talking a bit too much for sure. It is about actions or inaction at times. Also when people just want to become argumentative, then walk away. We are not to engage in altercations with people like militants.

      11. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Oh yeh, with teaching you have to be 100% in and care the same amount for your students.
        You wouldn’t need to know Spanish to teach English here, but a little would go a long way. Plus all would depend on who you were with and your cultural integration.

        I understand how much your Christian faith means to you. In fact I find it inspiring to read about it and I love when you talk about it. I learn a lot from you.

      12. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        It is not that I would not care about the students, in fact I tend to over care as in allowing their problems to take over my mind even when I am not at work. This was a big problem for me when I was working for the school here. I just would feel too boxed in by the curriculum I think. I wish it was like a smaller and less professional group where we could take it slow, allowing people to learn at their own paces.

        I am glad you do not find the repetitive nature of me talking about my faith annoying for sure lol I just feel as talking about my past rocky history with it, will allow people to see that Christians, or any other spiritual person, has their own problems as well. I just chose to throw my problems at Jesus’s feet and it’s when you give up your lack of any real power, that peace finally comes.

      13. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Students I’ve found here, generally speaking, are far more coddled – emotionally and physically – by their teachers than, say, Australian students. A lot of that seems tied to family dynamics and Catholic culture. But I’m not going down that rabbit hole just now… there may be no climbing back out 😄

        I agree with you that education works far more effectively – ideally – when it resembles adult education: small groups, focused discussion, real engagement. That’s why children classes these days are increasingly broken into smaller groups, and that’s a positive shift, as you say.

        And no – I actually enjoy hearing someone as passionate and finely tuned as you are express aspects of your faith and theology. I’m more of an agnostic, Judeo-Christian type these days, though I was baptised in 2003 by my pastor on the Mornington Peninsula, south-east of Melbourne—which I’ve probably mentioned before. I’ve also spent time in theological study, and early Christianity—particularly first-century Paulism and figures like James, the brother of Jesus – remains one of my favourite subjects. I’ve listened to Christian and non-Christian theologians discuss this for more hours than is probably considered healthy.

        When I went fully sober in September a few years back, I more or less laid my problems at Jesus’ feet – perhaps unknowingly at first, given AA’s scriptural language around God and prayer. What followed was a significant spiritual awakening, unlike anything I’d experienced before, and not unlike what you’ve described here. I genuinely hope you continue along that path – relinquishing yourself and placing everything at the feet of Christ.

      14. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Yeah the coddling aspect would be brand new to me lol Teachers here do not and are actually taught to not do that due to all the sketchy relationships that turn physical way too often. It is hideous. Also being in special ed, I was taught to not coddle the kids so they would not learn this helpless mentality. Oh yeah, I get the Catholic cultural part of it for sure lol

        My favorite times during school was when I was able to bring my kids into small group. That is the best way to learn for sure. Plus, I had quite a few ADHD and autistic kids who no longer got as distracted and overwhelmed. It is better for both the teacher and kids that way.

        Well, I appreciate you not minding me talk about my faith for sure. I have gotten so used to those outside of the faith or at least not completely on the same page, not really caring or straight up shutting me out due to it. I personally love talking eschatology and all things spiritual because we are spiritual beings after all. You might as well be talking about your physical and mental health as well you know?

        You have a powerful testimony for sure! I love hearing those. What I have gathered and come to learn myself is being humble is crucial to having a good relationship with Christ and seeing all the blessings you are given. After all, you have to be down to earth enough to realize you have problems to seek God’s help to begin with. Once you think you have everything figured out on your own, there really is no helping you.

      15. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        You’re a smart cookie—you know that, right? And to finish with, “Once you think you have everything figured out on your own, there really is no helping you,” was spot on. Sometimes I forget that, so thanks for the reminder, Ash. You hit the nail squarely on my head—and I actually need that from people close to me.

        There’s a lot to unpack here. When I was teaching in Colombia and watching the over-coddling—and even the physical closeness—between teachers and students, I had the same reaction as you. In a nutshell, teachers were becoming parental custodians, and that really did my head in. No thanks. That said, I can tell you would’ve been a great teacher.

        The videos I forwarded were more about expanding your understanding of theocracy—viewing it as an academic critique—rather than me wanting you to question your faith.

        For me, it’s all about the logos: that direct line to the divine, the animating force in one’s universe—reason, rational discourse. It’s up to the individual, and the individual is divine. And you very much embody that.

        I once met a Jewish guy when I was studying theology at the Australian Catholic University. The lecturer was a classic academic theologian, very much in line with the videos I shared. What stayed with me most was this: the Bible is about spiritual truths. If you’re looking for literal historical accounts, forget it. The Old Testament alone has hundreds of authors, whereas the New Testament really has one principal author.

        Anyway, this guy told me that as a Jew—and more broadly within Judaism—they love Jesus as a prophet. He’s not the Messiah in their view, but he’s still awesome—more or less his words. I always thought that was pretty cool.

      16. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I was definitely not trying to preach at you or anything lol I need that reminder myself every single day for sure.

        Yeah, do not get me wrong, when a kid was having a genuinely rough one, particularly when I knew their home life was chaotic, I would hug them, but I did not allow myself to get overly attached. I dealt with some kiddos who had adjustment issues and knowing that I was about to quit, I began distancing myself emotionally a while before. Lol I appreciate the compliment Matt.

        Oh no lol I would never think you were trying to get me to question my faith! I actually never mind hearing other sides of the coin either. I am a bit too deep rooted to ever question it anyways.

        While I do not embody the same belief system as the Jews, I can appreciate their ideologies and viewpoints. I have heard some interesting conversations between the more traditional Jews and the Messianic Jews who do believe Jesus was the Messiah. Those conversations can get quite heated, as a lot of Messianic Jews have been disowned and socially outcasted for that belief.

      17. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I don’t see this as you preaching to me at all. In the end, we all preach in our own uncertain ways, because we live according to what we’ve seen and what we believe.

        What I struggle to get my head around is this, and it may take me some time to properly work through it. I’m speaking after 51 years of life, studying the Bible, and following music and the arts more broadly.

        Jews are, quite honestly, my favourite people when it comes to interpreting the world and making sense of chaos. They always have been. Many of my favourite films, music, and comedians are Jewish. In the arts especially, they strike me as some of the sharpest and most honest interpreters of life.

        So then we come to the Bible. Jesus, a Jew, becomes a prophet and—according to the New Testament—dies for our sins. If that’s the case, why didn’t the most perceptive and ethically serious people of the time accept him? This all happened in Israel, in the Jewish heartland. Yet Judaism, as a whole, did not adopt Christian theology. That has never quite made sense to me.

        In Jewish tradition, the Messiah was expected to be a literal king of Israel—a political and national leader. Jesus, on the other hand, was an outsider, rejected by religious authorities, and later embraced mainly by Gentiles. Much of Christian theology, especially through Paul, developed outside Israel and often through a very non-Jewish lens.

        After 51 years, I’m still puzzled by why the people often described as the “chosen” or the most skilled interpreters of life did not accept Jesus as Messiah. When I was younger and first drawn to Christianity, I was deeply moved by its teachings—and in many ways, I still am. But twenty years later, after understanding how Paul’s theology expanded Christianity beyond its Jewish roots, I began to see things differently.

        I now see Jesus as a moral and spiritual intermediary—an expression of the logos, a way to align oneself with God. Judaism, by contrast, focuses on a direct relationship with God through ritual, law, and ethical behavior. It is a different path, not necessarily a lesser one.

        What troubles me most about Pauline Christianity is the claim that there is only one path to God. To me, that is an ignorant and deeply divisive idea, and history shows where it can lead. It isn’t so different from the absolute claims made in other religions. In Christianity, this mindset helped justify the burning of so-called heretics and the religious wars of Europe between the 10th and 12th centuries.

        That, to me, is where faith turns dangerous – when belief becomes exclusive instead of humane.

      18. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Wow! You have left me quite a bit to unpack Matthew. Gimme a bit to reply lol Good questions though!

      19. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        No problem, no hurry at all. Take all day, all week, etc. I shared too much, but at least I have someone to chew the fat with about stuff I wouldn’t ordinarily tell other people. So thanks for at least reading it, lol.

      20. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Of course! I have no problem with talking about this stuff at all.

      21. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        This bit is interesting about the Christmas narrative:
        https://youtu.be/mUW5ksNaxI8?t=1009

      22. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Like I said, you have some great questions Matt. Prepare for some long answers lol I did try to whittle it down as much as possible. I am sorry lol

        As far as the Jews’ not accepting Christ is due to multiple reasons. First off, there was a lot of division within the Sadducees and the Pharisees. They were disagreeing on the timelines of the prophecies of the Messiah. They were skipping over the prophecies of Jesus being born in humble ways that was of course, fulfilled with Him being born in an actual manger along with the other skipped detail of Him being born of a virgin.

        Then the circumstances the Jews found themselves in at the time of Jesus were blinding them as well. They were basically slaves under Roman rule so the people were wanting to hear anything that would give them even a sliver of hope. They wanted to hear the Messiah would be coming and killing all the Roman scum for them. However, this shows that they were not yet aware of the true enemy of God and all humanity.

        The Jews were obviously God’s chosen people since everything started with them. If you look back through the Old Testament and see how often the Jews royally drop the ball as far as upholding their covenant promises to God and notice how they are given chance after chance to make it right again. Meanwhile, the first time the pagans did something abominable, they were not shown the same amount of grace at all lol
        However, being the chosen people led to some very serious pride to begin to be blaringly obvious. The farther back you get from Abraham, the quicker they began losing the right mentality and humility they needed to properly do the sacrificing and rituals God deemed necessary to pay for their sins.

        This leads me to Jesus coming to the scene. God was seeing the breakdown of Jewish people as more and more of them were being scooped up into pagan worship since the original teachings were either not being taught by parents anymore, or like I mentioned previously, the Laws of Moses and the prophecies were muddied by the higher up priests who were in the pockets of the Sadducees and Pharisees. Heck, for the most part the Jews were no longer sacrificing and per the law, without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins. THIS led to God understanding the fact that there was no law that would ever be followed to what was agreed upon indefinitely. After all, humanity as a whole is wicked and evil and is always looking for our own paths to righteousness. Which is even more obvious nowadays.

        In comes Jesus who per the texts is not just a bridge to bring people to God but is in fact God in the flesh. He had to be God in order to fulfill His part in the law in which a perfect lamb was to be sacrificed to cleanse everyone’s sins. Sin has to be washed away since God cannot allow anything defiled to get into Heaven since He Himself is pure and Sanctified. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice because His atonement was not just for the Jews or even for a year, it was in fact eternal, and for EVERYONE that would believe that He shed all of His blood for our sins. Not to mention, the fact he resurrected on the third day, proving He was in fact God. After all, I do not see too many people raising themselves up from the grave too often lol

        God decided to give the path of salvation to everyone due to the Jew’s hard headedness and stiff-necked nature. I forget what verse, but it mentions God provoking the Jews to jealousy by extending His grace to the Gentiles who were so fast to accept Jesus as the Messiah comparatively. The fact that we no longer have to stick to stringent traditions and laws and kill innocent animals, is proof of God’s grace extended to us. All we now have to do is believe in what Jesus did. After all, nobody can work themselves into Heaven since our work before we accept Christ is as dirty rags anyways.

        This is also why the apostles start off by going to the Jews and trying to get them to see the truth and error in what they had just done in crucifying Jesus. The Jews were not having it and were becoming more and more violent to them, so they began preaching solely to the gentiles which solidified the schism between the Jews and Christianity.

        I do not find the teaching of one-way path to God to be divisive at all; in fact I find it to be the opposite. After all, if there are multiple religions who all say different things, is that not dividing up everyone even more? It has been Satan’s goal all along to divide everyone to the point where they are no longer looking for the truth since they are so confused to begin with. You can trace the origins of the other Abrahamic and pagan religions in the bible when there would be these branching away. For example, when Abraham got Hagar pregnant instead of Sarah. That son broke off and started what is now Islam. That should not have happened, but we are still feeling the effects of that choice today, particularly the Jews themselves.

        Ultimately, true division and this militaristic nature of said religions came from Satan. Since true bible believing and God-fearing people were never told to kill people for not believing. This belief did not start until some sin got in and soiled someone’s heart. After all, there is still free will and that free will is crucial to true repentance since you have to have a genuine change of mind. You can choose to follow God, or you can choose to follow Satan. It is just the way of the world in which we find ourselves.

      23. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Now it’s time for me to put my reading glasses on and go way deep into the psyche of my esteemed blogger friend Ash. Giddyup!
        I’ll read, and whenever something tickles my fancy, I’ll respond here. As you already know, please don’t get offended if I say something that may sound outlandish — I’m just thinking as I go:

        Yes, there’s a lot of division over how the Messiah is interpreted. So much so that, after 2,000 years, nothing has really bridged those paths or brought them together — not even close. Which always perplexed me. But the Jews do seem to have their scriptures carefully worked out and consistently accounted for.

        Take the claim of Jesus being born of a virgin. That’s a pretty astonishing proclamation right after the Old Testament era. To me it almost feels influenced by pagan or early gnostic storytelling — a kind of “let’s go bold” narrative. And look, Jesus having step-brothers (like James) is pretty clear if you read the New Testament at face value, as a historical account of Jesus’ life.

        I agree that many Jews in the first century were expecting a leader to free them from Roman rule. We’re in agreement there. I think it’s fair to say that, for the sake of the argument, they expected someone with a king-like presence — a Davidic liberator.

        As for the “true enemy of God” — you’re inferring sin, right? Because that’s laid out from Genesis onwards. That idea isn’t uniquely Christian. What is unique (beyond the virgin birth and resurrection claims) are teachings like the Sermon on the Mount, or Jesus’ response to Mary — “he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” Even many Jews today would see those teachings as ethically profound, even if they don’t accept the broader Christian theology.

        I agree — from both scripture and historical analysis — that the Jews are God’s chosen people, which of course includes Jesus himself and his first followers, including James. Where I get stuck is Paul. His interpretation of Jesus — which shapes much of the rest of the New Testament — doesn’t always align with the earlier Jewish-Christian community in Jerusalem. Paul’s authority is based largely on his vision of the risen Jesus, not on historical proximity. And yes, I also find it strange (and slightly funny) that his letters — the very documents forming the foundation of later doctrine — were written in Greek. Really? Greek? You’d think respect for Aramaic or Hebrew would matter, given the origins. Say what you will, but at least Mel Gibson bothered to use Aramaic in The Passion.

        I also agree with your critiques of the Jews in Deuteronomy — the sacrifices, the pride, the forgetfulness. They’d probably accept much of that criticism themselves. But practising Jews today really do preserve their covenant with God and keep the Sabbath with astonishing discipline. That’s something.

        Now, hold up, Ash — you start speaking for God at one point. You wrote: “THIS led to God understanding that no law would ever be followed indefinitely.” Wait, what? You need to make it clear that this is your interpretation based on Pauline theology. Because you can’t speak for God. “I AM who I AM” — Exodus 3:14.

        I don’t see any evidence that Jesus is God in the flesh. I think he represents the Logos (as John puts it) — the Word made flesh in the sense of divine purpose embodied in action — but not literally God Himself. I personally think the historical Jesus and the earliest Jewish Christians would agree with that. They never claimed he was God. That interpretation comes from Paul, based on his vision, and it happens to fit perfectly with his mission to reach pagans in the Greco-Roman world. He elevated Jesus to a divine-human figure in a way that deeply offended the Jewish community — and still does. And honestly, I get their reaction.

        I don’t believe Jesus was a sacrifice for our sins. Nothing removes sin in a literal sense — no human, no ritual. We live with sin; only God can deal with it directly. Jews would never have imagined YHWH taking physical form in human flesh. “Adonai” is invoked precisely because the divine name is too holy — and in Jewish cosmology, God exists beyond time entirely. We have past, present, and future; God is outside the whole continuum. The idea that such a Being could be born as a human baby is, frankly, incompatible with Jewish theology.

        And then you get the body-and-blood ritual. That certainly seals the deal: this is not the Abrahamic conception of God. That’s why Jews don’t even hesitate in rejecting Christianity. For them, the idea that Jesus is an intermediary — and the only way — is nonsensical.

      24. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        There’s this amazing song by Leonard Cohen (Jew) as he was in throws of his own mortality (last days literally) and coming back to his Jewish territory with ‘You Want It Darker’:
        https://youtu.be/v0nmHymgM7Y

      25. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        That was darkly beautiful! The sort of ‘sparkly’ music over such melancholic lyrics is masterful.

      26. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        That’s great you liked it so much. The background voices are from an actual Jewish synagogue choral, which I thought is pretty cool.

      27. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        That is beautifully haunting for sure. This reminds me a little of Johnny Cash’s ‘Hurt’. The fact they wrote these songs around the end of their lives and you can feel the emotions in their voices as they are coming to terms with their soon appearing deaths.

      28. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        This is crazy. I just finished writing about Johnny Cash in my article tomorrow about Hank William’s song ‘Move It On Over’. Great minds think alike. That song by Johnny – ‘Hurt’ is a modern masterpiece and the video with his wife June Carter is unbelievable.

      29. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Lol yeah its crazy when things align like that. I watched the music video one time, and it made me tear up. I feel like everyone who heard it, knew it was going to be one of the last from Cash.
        It reminded me of when my grandpa was fixing to pass away and he had this very nonchalant attitude about dying. I found it brave and realistic. After all, you cannot stop death you know.

      30. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        That attitude from your grandfather is so inspirational, especially considering how much pain he must have been enduring.

      31. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Yeah lol he was doped up on all the pain meds that he probably did not feel too much in the end. That for sure helped his positive attitude lol

      32. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        It sounds like he didn’t suffer too much – even when he realised what was happening. That must have made it a little easier for your family to cope during such a difficult time.

      33. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        He had probably one of the most peaceful deaths for sure. I was 14 when he passed away and he was the first grandparent I was actually close to that died so it was difficult in that regard. It was much easier for everyone as well since it was expected. That man smoked his entire life, so it was only a matter of time.

      34. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I watched my father die in my Mum’s living room from Lung cancer and nothing could be further from what you described. I always argued my father should have died in a hospital since the witnessing of his final days and eventual death – was just about the worst thing you could imagine. I wrote about the aftermath here:
        https://observationblogger.com/2019/04/28/11-00-am-anzac-day-2003/

      35. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        That was a beautifully written post, Matthew. Cancer is something else man. I have never seen someone deteriorate from that and I hope to God I do not have to witness that. I get what you mean about the hospital however, what I went through when my aunt passed away was traumatizing for sure. She was in the ICU and hooked up to all these dang wires. She was still conscious and actually had to be cuffed to the bed because she attempted pulling out her own tubes. I still have images of her clearly in pain but not being able to express it stuck in my head on bad days. There is a sort of peacefulness to passing away at home.

      36. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Peacefulness passing away at home? From Lung cancer? There wasn’t one moment of Peace in the event. He should have been in a hospital. My aftermath post, which you were kind enough to say was nice, well written and I’m thankful for that, doesn’t even for one second delve into the trauma of the leading up-to. It required acute professional help. Also to put family through that without medical remediation was obscene, but anyways that’s how it went. I told everyone in sundry, if I’m dying from cancer then it will be in a hospital – not for my family to endure and without medical assistance,

      37. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I am sorry, my comment was pretty crass. It is hard for me to consider hospitals as the best option since I do have my own traumas with them in general. However, I do sympathize with your own negative feelings with thinking that your dad could have gotten more of the help he needed in the hospital. I do not know if that was a family decision or your father’s to be at home. I am surprised he was allowed to be at home without some sort of medical help or some at home care plan.

      38. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        No, I don’t think at all your opinion being incorrect since every circumstance is different and I should have made that clearer from the outset and my post makes his passing seem serene. So that’s on me.

        I believe my Father wanted to be at home and my Mother recognised that and wanted to meet his wishes. It may well be – I’m in the wrong by not respecting his last wishes. Personally, I would never want my family to undergo what we did – but that’s how it went.

        Perhaps its more on me and my uneasiness towards suffering and cleaning up his poo and showering him and seeing his last final days without medical intervention. May be its a reflection of what a sorry arse I am as a Son.

        So yeh, there’s that. But no way would I in my last days or moments would want that on my family.

      39. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I completely understand you! We are going through a similar situation with Kolton’s grandma. She is unable to do basic necessities anymore but is refusing to go into any sort of home or facility. Heck, she has a full-blown conniption fit when she has to go to the doctors.

        See I can understand your mother wanting to fulfill his wishes, but at the same time, allowing him to endure at home just causes everyone in the house, who is not qualified by the way, to shoulder the medical burdens. Personally, that would not be the decision I would make.

        I do not think you are a bad son for that at all. Again, there is a reason end of life care should come from a trained medical professional. Cleaning up their mess is not only unsanitary, but you begin to see your loved one in that state, which could make everything worse.

        No hate towards your mom or family, but I would also not put my family through that.

        My dad also passed away at home from heart disease. He was found later in the day by my mom and sister, and it was kind of obvious he was in some pain. It made me wonder if he would have passed away by himself in the hospital.

      40. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        You are right, my Mum had to respect that. But my Father thinking he was being modest and full-on / bravo – it actually had the opposite effect at least as far as I’m concerned,
        Actually I was a bad son in the event of his sickness because of my alcoholism and that’s a story for another time.

        I’m not actually any good as a father as well because of the aforementioned. Just like the article I wrote today how as a youngster I thought I had it all worked out. I didn’t know anything, and as amazing that song is – my demons took over. It’s ruined everything.

        I’m sorry to splurt that on you, but you are one of the few people I can just do that with. And you shouldn’t feel like you have to respond to it. That’s my thing and how it is is.

      41. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I understand the thought process of wanting to stay at home as well. Especially over here where medical insurance and procedures are God awful expensive. There are people every day who make that same decision. It just becomes difficult when family is involved as well.

        I will be the last person to judge you since I refused contact with my dad the last few years of his life. Due to things that happened in the past. I will forever regret alot of the decisions I made in that regard.

        This is the heavy stuff that therapy or counseling or simply talking about helps the most.

      42. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Thanks for all that. Speaking of the heavy stuff: Dylan wrote an amazing song about it (I reckon you above any other would get it): Not Dark Yet:

        https://youtu.be/FJ1bzKISLBw

      43. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Wow. Nah I liked that a lot. The hopeful music with the darker lyrics is probably my favorite type of music. His voice when it trails off, like there is so much else he wants to say but is either not ready to or he just does not have enough time to spill out everything.

      44. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Exactly. I first heard it just after it was released, and I still remember the moment. When the guitar does that thing—something I’d never heard before—I was standing in front of our fireplace and thought, this is unbelievable. It sounded like nothing I’d ever heard… and then the words came in.

      45. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        If Dylan can say ‘My Humanity has gone down the drain’ – then you know we are in this boat

      46. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        If you have a little over an hour to spare I highly recommend this video from a ‘neutral’ theological perspective of 1st Century Paul:
        https://youtu.be/yDGCcbkUR-8

      47. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        One of the huge revelations, if I can call it that, is at 23:20 talking about the last Supper. ‘About this is my blood’. In terms of the Judaism that is a huge Motza ball hanging out there and seems contra everything Judaism. That is the most offensive thing you could do. It’s contrary to Jewish law. That’s a Paulism if ever there was one and he had never met Jesus. Then he went full renegade and blasted the early Christians inc. James the brother. Then later in his writings went ‘full’ Antisemitism. His views had nothing to do with those who knew and followed Jesus and knew him in person. That’s a conundrum.

      48. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Then check out from 37:00 minutes in the video how outlandish and unrealistic it would have been to have occurred in ‘reality’ amongst early Christian but observant practising Judaism followers.

      49. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        There is one more video I couldn’t recommend more highly about how Jews and Christians view theology and live out their lives differently. This video between Ben Shapiro and Russell Brand is so good and sums it up so practically and you’ll find it more relatable:

      50. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I will have to check out that longer video for sure. I have actually seen the Ben Shapiro and Russell Brand video. Definitely one of the more interesting conversations about beliefs for sure. Particularly from Russell, having been so openly atheistic in the past.

      51. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Wait..what!? You haven’t still seen the theologian video of Paul?
        Yeh, the irony is Russell went full on – Christian brand. Excuse the play on words.

      52. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        No it has been so hectic here that sitting and watching something like that, has not been in the books right now.
        Lol I like the Christian Brand lol

      53. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Sorry, I was a bit obtuse with my ‘Wait, what’ thing. Forgive me. Yes, I can understand how the material might be too heavy given your current circumstances. You have to be in the mood and have time to engage with it – and that’s even if you care to.

        I hope you are having a good day Ash. Cheers.

      54. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        All good! Yeah, it has been difficult for me to concentrate on other stuff for the moment which is why I have been struggling to even read for the time being. I really just need everything to go back to normal for a bit lol That would be nice.
        I am having an alright day. I hope you are having a good one as well!

      55. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        https://youtu.be/f2JuxM-snGc

      56. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I actually do like this song from Lorde! Thank you Matt.

      57. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        That’s great you like it too.

        Before we crossed paths, I used to post of these Serbian twins who did covers of Christmas songs, Christina Perri (which is how I come to know them) and Lorde to name but a few:
        Below is one they did of Perri’s ‘Born in Time’
        https://youtu.be/d4UXADpltx0

      58. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        The harmonies these girls could get with Perri would be stunning. Such a sweet song as well.

      59. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I actually told them I wish Perri had heard their version. She’d be ecstatic I reckon. Yes, ‘Back in Time’ is a beauty.

      60. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I know Perri would have appreciated their cover for sure! I don’t know how often artists choose to sing with people who cover their songs. It would be cool if there was some sort of concert in which this happens. I would love to see that.

      61. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        The other thing about Cohen is how sophisticated and rare Perri’s songs are. Like I reckon if Cohen had been alive to hear Perri’s songs on ‘Lighter Shide of Blue’ – he would have said – that’s me but in a female form 30 years younger. Her writing and the production is so older Cohen. Check out ‘Surrender’ for example – that’s just so Cohen – as are the rest of the tracks. People don’t get how incredible she is as a songwriter.

      62. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        There’s a great interview with Perri and her best friend that I once posted about. He tells her, “I’m in some of the most remote places on earth, and I message you from a beach in Mexico where everyone’s playing your song — and then I’m somewhere in Central Europe, and I hear it again.” But his messages to her go unanswered. She just laughs and says, “Yeah, I know. If I answered every message like that, I wouldn’t have a life. Haha.”

        I remember being just two blocks from where I am now, at this little restaurant in Bogotá with cheap-as-hell meals, when “A Thousand Years” came on the radio. And this teenage Colombian girl suddenly started belting it out in perfect English. That’s when it hit me — yep, Perri’s music really is everywhere. lol

      63. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I could not even imagine hearing your hard work in other countries like that. The fact she is so humble as well is such a beautiful thing. She truly deserves all the recognition she has gotten.

      64. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Yeh, I just hope she’s able to resurface after motherhood and personal heartache. One of my posts of hers – ‘Roses in the Rain’ gets so many views every day – it’s a real privilege. Initially, I didn’t take to the song at all (‘like put some coffee on’ lol – who writes that!!! Haha), but as usual her – the timbre in her voice, elocution and her manner of authenticity just makes it better on repeated listens.
        Her live performance of that below, is one for the annals – she nails it:
        https://youtu.be/5z4SlWzFIHs

      65. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        https://youtu.be/QFNHR5_n394

      66. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        ‘Back in Time’

      67. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Go easy on yaself. Have fun and be free.

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● About Me

Hello! I am Ashley and I simply love to read, and hope you do to!
I am currently 29 years old and living in the state of Texas, USA.

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