The Gentle Chapter

Fulfillment After Hard Work (DP#30)

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“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” -David Bly

If the work is more physically demanding, you easily break out into a sweat, so you are getting a workout in at the same time. You gain more muscle, endurance, your heart rate increases, thus helping your blood flow, etc. etc. When you have a full time physically demanding job, you will more than likely, find yourself losing weight regularly (granted you do not have any other health issues). If you are building new infrastructure for your town, or fighting against a raging fire, you are working hard to create a better and safer society for us all.

When your work is more emotionally difficult, you may find that you are more capable of dealing with your own issues in your personal life. Granted you do not succumb to burnout of course. If you are in a position of assisting people with their problems, you can find fulfillment in helping them. Maybe you are counselor helping somebody with trauma, or an educator helping shape the future generations. You are dishing out advice and wisdom for the betterment of society.

There is hard work to be found even outside the professional sphere. If you are a student in school or training, you have to work hard to reach your academic and personal goals to be successful. If you are striving to turn a favorite hobby or sport into a career, you have to push yourself to improve and stick to a routine to train your body to fit your future.

If you are wanting to fix a broken or strained relationship with somebody, you have to show you are committed to doing your part to make it better. You see this a lot in couple’s therapy where the couples who come out successful with a stronger relationship, are the ones who work hard at it. Not the ones who feel obligated to go to the meetings and forget everything they heard.

When I used to think of hard work, the only aspect that would come to mind was the physically demanding positions. However, hard work can be found in just about every facet of your life. Basically, any one of your goals and dreams, however small it may seem, is accomplished through hard work and determination. Nothing beats the satisfaction from stepping back and seeing the fruits of your labor.

16 responses to “Fulfillment After Hard Work (DP#30)”

  1. observationblogger Avatar
    observationblogger

    As I was reading your article, it reminded me of the following quote from Jordan Peterson speech at a Uni:
    “I knew this guy he’d been in a motorcycle accident and it really ruined him and he was a linesman working on the power and he was working with someone who had Parkinsons so they both had complimentary inadeqacies and so two of them could do the job of one person so they’re out there fixing powerlines in the freezing cold despite the fact that one was three quarters wrecked and the other one had Parkinsons That’s how our civilization works, there’s all these ruined people out there they’ve got problems like you can’t believe, off they go to work to do things they don’t even like and look! The Lights Are On”

    I was also just saying to Polly on my blog re. learning the classical guitar – ‘Yes, it takes thousand of hours to master an instrument and only few have the time, obsession and patience’.

    Re. the personal hardships where you wrote: ‘If you are wanting to fix a broken or strained relationship with somebody, you have to show you are committed to doing your part to make it better’.
    Well, that’s where I’ve repeatedly stumbled in life. Reading that felt like swallowing a bitter pill, but it’s something I need to put real effort into.

    Awesome post Ashley.

    Reply
    1. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
      Ashley Kittrell

      That quote from Jordan Peterson is quite enlightening! He is such an intelligent person. We should not assume that because we are not perfect or have these “handicaps” if you will, that our work is inadequate. You can be an absolute master at something but if you are not willing to put in the work, what use is that title?

      You and me both lol I have estranged relationships with certain members of my own family that I have had opportunity after opportunity to fix. Do I? My pride gets in the way most of the time unfortunately. Relationships are not always easy to nurture and cultivate. It can be a battleground against personalities for sure.

      Reply
      1. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Yeah, the quote is stunning, and I love the entire speech it comes from. He’s basically reminding ungrateful uni students that they don’t realize the hard work happening all around them just so they can sit in a well-lit room. It’s an absolute miracle.

        As for family struggles and falling-outs, I think there’s a fine line between supporting relatives who don’t necessarily have your best interests at heart and putting your energy into people who genuinely want to help you grow, become more capable, and realize your dreams. It’s a balancing act—showing forgiveness for family’s sake while also protecting yourself by keeping good people close. I’m still at loggerheads on what to do with the challenging ones. Hmm.

      2. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        That is a whole other aspect of relationships, sometimes it is better to cut off all the negativity than to be constantly dragged down by it. It is still hard work figuring that out and putting in the effort to set up boundaries and holding people accountable. If they do not respect you to listen and change, that is on them, but you are still doing your part. Family members sometimes assume they do not have to respect boundaries for some reason.

      3. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I love this quote you made: ‘It is still hard work figuring that out and putting in the effort to set up boundaries and holding people accountable’. There is so much to ponder in that one sentence – of Nietzsche proportions. Lol.
        I’ll be lazy and say – ‘Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind’ – if they do not listen. As you say, ‘that’s on them.’ Relationships are a two-way street, and if one side doesn’t put in the effort, it soon unravels into an entropic mess. ‘Road under construction’ lol Life is too short.

      4. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I agree! It can be even more challenging when your own family members are being the difficult ones. People will always expect you to put up with their abuse or selfish antics, because they happen to be your parents or siblings, ect. Bad people are bad people. That is why people who have been victimized by family members never speak up. There are some people who are more curse than blessing.

      5. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        As usual, I could relate to everything you wrote, since I’m currently facing a heavy and emotional conflict with immediate family members. Every day I wonder how I might course-correct or handle things differently. For now, I’m taking a step back to reflect on this confounding state of affairs. As you wrote, family conflicts can be especially frightening for those caught up in them, because it feels as though resolution can only happen within the family. That can leave someone with no safe place to go, no outlet to vent, and no guidance to seek — which can be truly traumatizing. That’s often when turning to a higher power, as we’ve spoken about, can help. One way I used to practice this was through the following:

        When I practiced Kundalini Yoga (an ancient tradition rooted in Hinduism), each session began with the mantra “Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo.” The participant inhales deeply through the nose and, on the exhale, recites slowly: “Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo.” This is repeated two more times.

        But what does Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo mean? Ong Namo is a call to our highest consciousness (the Logos, if you will). Guru means teacher — literally one who leads us from darkness to light. Dev refers to the subtle or divine. So Guru Dev Namo is an invocation of the divine teacher to guide us.

        Traditionally, the first recitation is meant to make the learner feel like a single, small point in the universe. The second expands them outward, as vast as they can imagine. And the third unites those two perspectives — the infinite outer and the intimate inner.

        Excuse me for going off on yet another tangent, Ashley…

      6. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Same. I had to step back from having a relationship with an immediate family member because of the anxiety and anger I felt while being around this person. The others that knew about it always made me feel guilty for holding true to my boundaries, while they themselves never held this person accountable for their toxic behaviors. I realized it is not my job to correct the adults around me which allowed me to think about my own well-being for once. I completely understand being a peacekeeper but there may come a time where you need to focus on making peace within yourself. It is a very large gray area that wholly depends on the people and the situation.

        That yoga sounds very interesting. I am glad you have found some peace while doing it 🙂

      7. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Happy Monday to you Ashley.
        Yes, you are right – ‘It is a very large gray area that wholly depends on the people and the situation’.
        It’s a shame you had falling apart from a family member, but I do know how painful that can be.I respect how you held firm in the face of other family members’ reprimands or untoward remarks. You do notice over time how the absence of such toxicity in your daily life is for the betterment of your personal growth and potential. So good one gal!

        Yes, yoga was the one thing that held true to me and my fortitude when I had demons stalking me in the shadows. After 15 or so years of practice, I have since moved on towards more active and outward projected pursuits. However yoga will always remain part of my nucleus – always there when I need to fall back on it.

      8. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Happy Tuesday! Sorry we got quite busy yesterday on the house, so I struggled to find time to reply.
        What made my situation even more challenging was the fact not everybody knew about the situation so I would get the guilt trip comments from those that knew, and assumptions from those that were left out of the loop. It was a difficult time for sure. I did feel so much more at peace after I decided to distance myself which is how I knew I had made the right decision at the time.
        I am glad you were able to find comfort and healing through yoga. I have heard how freeing it can be. Calisthenics is my preferred method of physical activity when I feel my own demons coming out of the shadows. It is a way of releasing negative emotions while getting a workout in.

      9. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I’m glad you’ve found peace by distancing yourself from those uncomfortable family confrontations —good on you! I understand the difficulty between those who know and those left out of the loop, but that’s inevitable and nothing you should feel bad about.
        Callisthenics sounds good. I basically do that too in my pilates, tone and balance group classes. I LOVE IT and gawd I miss it. I do all this as much for my sanity as for my physical well-being which I imagine is something similar to you.

      10. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Thank you! I did not feel the peace at first, but it came with time and distance.
        Unfortunately, I have not done any workouts in a while due to being physically exhausted from trying to fix the house up, but we are planning on picking it back up since we need to be in good shape to go hiking and all the other activities out in nature.

      11. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Oh, I see how it would be so exhausting fixing up your house and what not. You must be so excited about your next venture – trekking with the hubby. Woohoo. Nature calling.

      12. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I am!! We have a rig we are keeping an eye out in Colorado so hopefully it is still available when we sell the house. Otherwise, we will make it work lol

  2. NEERAJ SINGH Avatar
    NEERAJ SINGH

    very nice 👍

    Reply
    1. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
      Ashley Kittrell

      Thank you!

      Reply

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Hello! I am Ashley and I simply love to read, and hope you do to!
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