The Gentle Chapter

How I Relax (DP#13)

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If I had a rough stressful day, sometimes all I need to relax is to have some time alone in my room. Separation from as much stimulation as possible is the main goal. I may read or listen to some lo-fi, chill music, or I may take a nap.

During an anxiety attack, steamy showers help, along with prayer and listening to the bible. During these moments, I struggle to retain focus so reading is out of the question. I may play a chill game or complete some mundane tasks around the house to get out as much energy as possible.

Unfortunately, panic attacks do happen and during those episodes, I am typically shaking and crying. The main goal is to lower my heart rate by taking deep breaths, so I do not start hyperventilating (with asthma, this stinks extra bad lol). My husband typically holds me and talks me through the attack which helps tremendously. I do not think I would be able to break myself out of it nearly as quickly by myself. Imagine being trapped in fight or flight mode, even when nothing is trying to kill you, that is how panic attacks are for me. Afterwards, I am typically exhausted and sickly feeling, so I follow with watching videos or listening to music or eating. I avoid activities that need extra brain cells lol

7 responses to “How I Relax (DP#13)”

  1. observationblogger Avatar
    observationblogger

    I’ve struggled with social anxiety and depression in the past, so I can relate to your challenges and admire your openness in sharing them here. After my father’s death and the breakdown of my marriage in 2003, I suffered a nervous breakdown. The counsel of a behavioural psychologist helped me somewhat. In essence, she taught me to isolate the thoughts that triggered my anxiety and then analyse whether they were rational—or whether it was simply distorted thinking that caused me to inflict severe emotional harm on myself. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it was the latter. My self-talk wasn’t rational.

    What she showed me was the art of stepping outside myself, as if viewing my life from a third-person perspective. It meant moving away from mere perception of myself and embracing perspective—as though another, more rational and objective self were guiding me.

    Reply
    1. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
      Ashley Kittrell

      Having generalized anxiety pretty much every day, I can sympathize for sure. I am glad you found some solace with a professional. I have been to some counseling myself, but I found the most help in my faith with God. I saw I had to be broken down in order to be rebuilt into the person I am now.
      Man, you have been through the ringer! It is inspiring to still see you here and kicking for sure! That sounds like some sound advice from the psychologist though, it’s just the matter of applying it that can be challenging.

      Reply
      1. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        Having to deal with anxiety at that level every day must be incredibly draining—both emotionally and physically. I’m glad you’ve found strength through your faith in God; what powerful spiritual nourishment. Your reflection on being “broken down to be rebuilt/reborn” reminds me of Leonard Cohen’s line in Anthem: “There’s a crack in everything—that’s how the light gets in.” Lana Del Rey even echoed it in her song Kintsugi.

        As for the psychologist’s advice, I know it’s not easy to adopt in practice. But once one begins the process of isolating a thought, questioning its validity, and choosing the rational over the irrational, you’re already on the right path. Of course, underlying causes—whether trauma or even neurological factors like an overactive limbic system—can feed the “flight” response, making things more complex. Still, it sounds like you’re learning to manage it and getting better and for that you should be very proud.

      2. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        I appreciate your words of encouragement! It is a more of a struggle some days than others for sure. I chose to step away from pharmaceuticals, so I had to find as many practical outlets as possible that would take the edge off little by little. That is why I jumped to reading and writing.

        It was tricky from the beginning, but I am managing more and more each day for sure. Much appreciation!

      3. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I can’t blame you for stepping away from pharmaceuticals. One of the best things I did was getting off Effexor after my 2003 episode. I can see how reading and writing have become effective, cathartic alternatives. They’ve certainly worked for me. Keep going strong, Ashley!

      4. Ashley Kittrell Avatar
        Ashley Kittrell

        Thank you so much! Being medicated can assist with your issues to an extent but in my experience, there comes a point where the side effects outweigh the benefits. Granted, I have never had to take anything for physical health so I cannot really speak on that.

      5. observationblogger Avatar
        observationblogger

        I also don’t take anything for my health besides Vitamins B Complex, D3, C, Collagen, Zinc/Magnesium/Calcium, Omega 3 and Creatine (for muscles/gym).

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