Has your idea of what makes a good friend changed as you’ve gotten older?

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Yes, absolutely!

When I was a child, all it really took to be my friend was just speaking with me, mainly because I was so shy, most people pretty much ignored me. Unfortunately, being this lax opened myself up to becoming close with some toxic people.

There was this one “friend” I had for many years, from elementary school to middle school. We would hang out after school at each other’s houses. However, at school, she would always choose to hang out with the “popular” crowd over me. It was incredibly confusing, trying to figure out when we were friendly, and when we were not. We ended up having a bit of a falling out, but honestly, it was probably for the best.

Nowadays, I am much less open with people. I will always try my best to be friendly with everyone but as far as opening up my life with people, I am more hesitant. This is not just due to not trusting people, but I like to have a genuine connection now before I jump into any sort of relationship.

This patient waiting period is what has changed the most with how I view friendships. I no longer feel that desperation to feel accepted or have as many friends as possible. Whenever I do make friends, I would prefer the relationship to be as natural and genuine as possible, instead of forced.

A good friend is someone who understands taking things slow and really feeling each other out, before we are getting too involved. I realize this sounds a whole lot like dating lol, but we are adults at this point, and time is worth so much more nowadays. I would not want anyone to feel as though they have wasted their time on me, if there were not genuine enjoyment from being with me.